I have been learning a lot of things lately:
1. You always have more strength than you think you have
2. There is extreme power in your thoughts...events don't cause emotions...your thoughts do
3. The very things you don't want to happen are sometimes the things that you need
AND:
4. Suffering is the most authentic thing I know of.
Authenticity. The most authentic thing I have ever come across is the cross. It's funny, because I just came to this conclusion. you see crucifixes around all the time, but how often do you actually sit there and look at it? I mean....THAT is REAL. The only thing that makes sense to me right now is the cross. I have had suffering and pain thrown in my face lately...and not only my own, but others. It is authentic...because it's messy...it's not tied up in a bow....it doesn't try to be anything that it's not. So any time I'm struggling, I try to think about the crucifixion and remember that Jesus laid it all out...he suffered more than I ever will...yet he made it. He rose again...He's alive. And so I am I...and will one day be even more alive.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
"Whenever God shatters a life's dream, He will build up something new on the foundation of a broken & humble heart. He will give something greater & far more wonderful for God is Love. He never takes anything which would have been the best for us."
Life sure is interesting. I'm just going to stop making plans...because it will all work out a whole lot better if I just hand over the reins once and for all. Everything just seems so hard and monotonous right now. The thing is...I know it's all going to be ok in the end...it's just hard to endure the journey.
God is doing a new thing and I can recognize that...for He does indeed make all things new. It's just so hard when you've been so used to living the "old" for so long.
Life sure is interesting. I'm just going to stop making plans...because it will all work out a whole lot better if I just hand over the reins once and for all. Everything just seems so hard and monotonous right now. The thing is...I know it's all going to be ok in the end...it's just hard to endure the journey.
God is doing a new thing and I can recognize that...for He does indeed make all things new. It's just so hard when you've been so used to living the "old" for so long.
"Hope, oh my soul, hope..."
Sunday, August 22, 2010
New Year....Last Year
"so...do you have a favorite ancient theologian?"
*spoken right in front of the switchboard desk by two nerdy Frannies*
oooooohhhhhhhh Franciscan.....
Do you ever need to just write all your crap down...not giving a hoot whether or not someone reads it...you just need to let it out? Yeah...that's me...all the time. I get into this writing mode (which usually involves some alone time and cup of tea...in this case some iced tea) and it somehow cleanses my soul regardless if it visibly changes/helps things or not.
So thus begins my 6th (yes, 6th) and final year at Franciscan University of Steubenville. Love this place...yet hate this place. I don't know, I'm in this mindset where I can't wait to just live my faith out there in the world. I know, I know, the age old question: "Is Franciscan a bubble or not?" Well, I'm sorry, but it is. I'm so thankful for this place...I've been formed and changed so much for the better. But this place has jaded me in so many ways. There comes a point where spiritually, you just need to be challenged and molded beyond what you've been doing for the past couple years. It's time to start slowly saying goodbye.
I'm reading this book called "The New Faithful: Why Young Adults are Embracing Christian Orthodoxy." It is absolutely AMAZING. It has given me a whole new look at the Church and my faith and what I'm being called to. It's written by a Catholic journalist (who works in the secular realm) who dedicated over a year of her life to investigating and researching Christianity (especially Catholicism) and how it's being lived out in America in the lives of young adults. It especially looks at how young adults are bringing their faith into the battlefields of the world where relativism and a pluralistic viewpoint reigns. We've all heard "live in the world but not of it." But the interviews of the people contained in this book show that people are actually DOING it...living the faith but not being preachy...doing little things with great love.
I have always felt like I have a missionary heart...and I have thus tried to make these big plans for myself: move to some 3rd world country and save souls. Well, I've been to third world countries and have been astounded by people's love and faith. We, my friends, are the ones who are hurting. America needs missionaries too. So that's the life I feel called to...being a missionary in one of the most (if not the most) spiritually poor place in the world: my own backyard.
Everyone needs a community...a support system. But let's face it: you can't live in a place where you only live, eat, and breathe with Catholics 24/7. That's just not healthy. And besides, is that what we're really called to do anyway?
"Conservative Catholics, besieged by fellow Catholics and the culture at large, tend toward defensiveness and isolation...many others spend so much time with like-minded friends that they fail to realize how others perceive them. If they do not guard against that tendency toward rigidity, they could render their orthodosx revolution irrelevant."
--The New Faithful
*spoken right in front of the switchboard desk by two nerdy Frannies*
oooooohhhhhhhh Franciscan.....
Do you ever need to just write all your crap down...not giving a hoot whether or not someone reads it...you just need to let it out? Yeah...that's me...all the time. I get into this writing mode (which usually involves some alone time and cup of tea...in this case some iced tea) and it somehow cleanses my soul regardless if it visibly changes/helps things or not.
So thus begins my 6th (yes, 6th) and final year at Franciscan University of Steubenville. Love this place...yet hate this place. I don't know, I'm in this mindset where I can't wait to just live my faith out there in the world. I know, I know, the age old question: "Is Franciscan a bubble or not?" Well, I'm sorry, but it is. I'm so thankful for this place...I've been formed and changed so much for the better. But this place has jaded me in so many ways. There comes a point where spiritually, you just need to be challenged and molded beyond what you've been doing for the past couple years. It's time to start slowly saying goodbye.
I'm reading this book called "The New Faithful: Why Young Adults are Embracing Christian Orthodoxy." It is absolutely AMAZING. It has given me a whole new look at the Church and my faith and what I'm being called to. It's written by a Catholic journalist (who works in the secular realm) who dedicated over a year of her life to investigating and researching Christianity (especially Catholicism) and how it's being lived out in America in the lives of young adults. It especially looks at how young adults are bringing their faith into the battlefields of the world where relativism and a pluralistic viewpoint reigns. We've all heard "live in the world but not of it." But the interviews of the people contained in this book show that people are actually DOING it...living the faith but not being preachy...doing little things with great love.
I have always felt like I have a missionary heart...and I have thus tried to make these big plans for myself: move to some 3rd world country and save souls. Well, I've been to third world countries and have been astounded by people's love and faith. We, my friends, are the ones who are hurting. America needs missionaries too. So that's the life I feel called to...being a missionary in one of the most (if not the most) spiritually poor place in the world: my own backyard.
Everyone needs a community...a support system. But let's face it: you can't live in a place where you only live, eat, and breathe with Catholics 24/7. That's just not healthy. And besides, is that what we're really called to do anyway?
"Conservative Catholics, besieged by fellow Catholics and the culture at large, tend toward defensiveness and isolation...many others spend so much time with like-minded friends that they fail to realize how others perceive them. If they do not guard against that tendency toward rigidity, they could render their orthodosx revolution irrelevant."
--The New Faithful
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